Should You Have A Third Baby?
So…..you’re thinking of having a third baby and wonder if you should!? Or are you already pregnant and wonder what will be different?
Wouldn’t it be great if there were some questions you could answer or a third baby quiz you could take to help you get the answers you need before you have a third baby?
Keep reading and I will break it down for you what life is like with 3 kids and also ask you some questions to help you decide if you’re ready to be a family of 5!
I always wanted a big family or at least 3- 4 kids. It was just me and my brother growing up and I thought it would’ve been so cool to have more brothers and sisters.
Once I had my first daughter, life was definitely interesting, but to this day I believe having one child is pretty manageable. You don’t need to change your life drastically and for the most part one child can go by your schedule.
Once you have a second child, life gets difficult, they outnumber you. You need to go by their schedule with two kids! I was quickly learning how important it was to have family live close to you but we handled it all fine.
When my second daughter was almost 2, I was ready to have another child. Life wasn’t a piece of cake with two kids but I knew I could handle a third and was ready for it….or so I thought.
Here is my honest advice for anyone thinking about having a third child!
Hopefully, you answer yes to all these questions and are way more prepared than I was!
I remember one of my best friends who had 3 kids kept telling me over and over, “it’s different” but wouldn’t go in to details. I didn’t understand why it was so “different” at the moment but oh my lord do I get it now! 😩
Here is a third baby quiz to help prepare you and ask yourself if you are ready for baby #3!
Third Baby Quiz
If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then you are ready for a third little stinker running around your house! 😜
- Do you have family close by?
- Are you financially prepared? (or at least have good jobs)
- Do you have dependable babysitters for last minute emergencies and for special events?
- Are you and your husband/spouse in mutual agreement on having more kids?
- Do you and your husband/spouse have a good solid relationship/marriage?
- Does your husband/spouse work a lot of hours and has a crazy busy work schedule? (Meaning are you alone with the kids often)?
- Do you have a big back yard that’s fenced in? (Ha-you don’t really need this one but trust me it helps if you do! lol)
- Are you okay with losing sleep for another couple years? Are you able to function fine on 4 hours or less of sleep and can still go all day long taking care of the other children while tired and pregnant?
- Do you have a car that can easily and comfortably fit three car seats in the back with some extra room for groceries, strollers, or what not?
- Are you okay with your house not being clean all the time?
- And most importantly, do you enjoy doing laundry on a daily basis?
- Are you physically healthy? (Don’t worry about being mentally healthy, that’s gone after two kids anyway! Ha!)
If you are able to answer yes to all those questions except number 6, then by all means….start that baby making!
My experience
If you’re wondering, I was not at all prepared for the third! No one asked me those questions or even had me consider some of these thoughts.
If someone did ask me those questions, the only ones I could answer yes to were 2,4,5, & 6. And 6 isn’t the one you want to answer yes to!! 😩
So if you answered no to many of these questions, you can still make it work like we do but it’s just a much harder situation.
I think the biggest and most important factor is to have family close by.
I’m not talking a few aunts and an uncle that you see twice a year, I’m talking a set of grandparents that are really involved in your kid’s lives. Ones that can take the kids out for the day, go to dinner, church, help take one to school if another one is sick, watch them in emergency situations without a moments notice, things like this.
I personally have none of this and it makes it very difficult. For example, I got really sick maybe 3 times in the past 7 years and every time my husband had to take off from work. Thankfully, I always recovered by the next day but there was no other choice for us.
Also, as your children get older, they are in so many activities which can make it a juggling act for you as a parent!
I have to limit my children’s activities so I know I can make it to all of them myself if my husband is at work because quite frankly, there is no one else that can drive them!
Don’t waste your time with these baby items! Find out what you really need! 👇🏻
Warning signs and Tips for bringing home a third baby:
I don’t want to call these CONS because a baby is a blessing in any household, so I’ll call them warning signs!
Here are a few things that you should be warned about when you do bring baby #3 home……
The laundry-
Oh this will certainly be the death of me!!!
I clean constantly and that’s just a given with kids, but I’m not a laundry person. I don’t mind washing clothes but it’s the time it takes to fold it and put it all away without a child interrupting you or a toddler making a mess out of the laundry!
You would think that having one more child wouldn’t have such a big impact on the amount of laundry that you do?
Well…I’m here to warn you that it does!
And the laundry NEVER ends!!!
NEVER!
So, if you despise laundry, than consider sticking with two kids!
Bringing home baby #3-
So I couldn’t wait for this part and “assumed” it would go smooth.
What’s that they saying about assuming?
Yea….you know what I mean! Anyway, this didn’t go smooth.
My older two girls were ages 3 and 5 when I brought home my third. All they did every day ALL day long was fight over who would hold her!
I kid you not, this was so frustrating!
They fought constantly over who held her longer and who could help me change her diaper and so on and so forth.
At first, it was really cute but then it just got out of hand!
When I would lay down at night with the baby to nurse her, my other two would fight over who was next to her then! It was like she was this super cool toy that they each had to be next to or play with 24/7!
It was harder than I thought it would be so this part really surprised me. I felt like I was constantly yelling at my older two to stop fighting over the baby!
Prepare your other two children of changes!-
I did this a little bit but not as much as I should have.
You know, it’s funny how much you forget and all the stages you go through with a new baby. I knew I nursed nonstop with a newborn but I didn’t factor in how much it might affect my other two and how to explain these changes with them.
For instance, my older daughter was in T-ball at the time. My husband was at work so I had the three kids there myself. My older two girls didn’t understand why they couldn’t play at the park after the game like they normally did before baby sis came along.
I had to explain to them that it was hot, I was tired, I needed to nurse her again and didn’t want to do it in the hot sun, had to change her, and just need to go home after the game!
Things changed and it was hard for them to understand that we just couldn’t do the same things we did before.
Not to mention, my third baby was a pooping machine her first month of her life!
I would drive to the store and by the time we got there (we live in the boonies so it’s like 15-20 min there) I’d have to get her out and change her diaper before we even got in the store!
By the time we got out, she was hungry so I had to nurse her in the car with the kids before we headed home and my older ones would sit there and say, “When are we leaving? What are we doing next? Can we go to the park/friend’s house/somewhere else?”
Of course at this point, I was exhausted and needed more food/drink and some rest for 5 min!
They just didn’t understand this stuff and it was a hard adjustment for them in the beginning.
For tips on surviving a c-section recovery with toddlers at home, read this post here 👇🏻
Your house will never be perfectly clean for many years!-
I love my house, I really do. I am grateful for every inch of our home so I like to keep it clean and in order. However, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I just can’t keep up for now.
Unless you can hire a cleaning lady once a week, then your house will never be clean again for a while. I’m able to always keep either the downstairs looking decent and then my upstairs looks like a bomb hit every room or vice versa.
Keeping both floors clean seems just impossible with three kids!
My older girls do clean and help me a lot, it’s that little toddler though. She’s like a walking tornado! Constantly throwing things, playing with toys, making little messes in every room she goes!
She’s lucky she’s cute!
You will hate when someone just “stops by” quick to say hi because your house will never stay in a decent shape unless you clean that morning and take all of the children OUT of the house the entire day!
You won’t use the bathroom alone for at least another 5+ years-
Honestly, you’re already used to this with two kids, so what’s another few years, right?
No biggie on this one, you got this!
PROS of having baby #3
Things that will be easier with the third child-
I don’t want you to think everything is harder because it isn’t.
The whole process of being pregnant is more relaxed because you’ve been through this twice already so you know what to expect and aren’t as worried. You’ll still worry of course, but about different things.
If you choose to breastfeed, this goes way better the third time around! I had so much trouble my first time breastfeeding but by my second and third baby, it was so easy and I didn’t worry if she ate enough or if I was producing enough milk.
I knew what my body did and how things worked by then. So all of this is so much more relaxed!
You know which baby products work for you and which ones don’t. You know if you’re going to cloth diaper or use disposables, you know how to pump your milk and what products you need to do that. You know all the baby gear you really need to get and which ones you can get rid of that never worked.
Hopefully, you kept all of your maternity clothes and know just how your body will change so you won’t shock yourself when your boobs just don’t fit into your favorite bra anymore! 😳
Everything is just more relaxed!
Wondering what to wear after a c-section?
Life is a daily party at your house!-
Even though I wasn’t able to answer yes to many of those questions I asked you, I can’t imagine life without our third little girl!
Having two kids is great but having a third makes life a party every day at home! You would think adding that one extra kid isn’t a big deal, but trust me, it is! It makes rainy days and snowed in days tons of fun because there are three of them so they always have each other to play with.
Yes, there is fighting among each other but there’s always more laughter than anything else. The bond the three of my girls have is unbelievable and I pray they will always remain so close.
They will always have a friend-
Remember when you just had one child and you were their play buddy?
Even with two, sometimes you had to play with them because their ages were different or they were fighting so you kept them busy. Well, with 3, you rarely ever have to do this!
You no longer need to entertain your children, trust me, they have each other for that!
You will watch in amazement how much your older two fall in love with their baby sister or brother. It’s just the sweetest thing to see. Your oldest will become your helper and you’ll be amazed with how much they do for you!
Your love grows that much more!-
It’s hard to imagine loving another baby after you’ve filled your heart with two that you adore. Honestly, I think I enjoyed and loved my third so much more because I was so relaxed and not as worried as the first two pregnancies.
I sucked up every moment because I also knew it was my last journey through pregnancy/newborn stages. It goes by in the blink of an eye especially when you have two other kids to raise.
No matter what your situation is and if you aren’t prepared at all for a third baby, you will spoil and love that baby rotten and he/she will be such a blessing!
Check out the 17 Medicine Cabinet must-haves every mom should have in their home to treat their sick baby!
Advice
Any mom that wants some advice for dealing with a third child, I will tell you that I was a confident parent with 2 kids.
I really was!
I was able to juggle work, the kids, the house, and all of it!
Once I had a third, things got more difficult.
I think what made things harder was when my oldest started first grade this year, she had more homework, tests, and just needed more of me and my husband’s attention. This was fine when he was home to help but when he’s not home, I felt like I was being pulled in 3 different directions!
So, any advice I can give to a new mom of three kids would be…..
Make time for yourself!-
This may be in the early hours of the morning or late at night, do what you can to squeeze that in!
I don’t have much time for myself ever and honestly I love my job so getting up early and working is part of my alone time. I also just need that cup of coffee alone before the 3 get up and need me! It helps me start my day and think!
So whatever your “me time” is, whether it’s a half hour at night to wash your face or watch a movie, do it!
Just give yourself some time to think and be you for a little bit, not just a mom! Even if you can manage to go out with the girls every other week or once a month, do it because you need it to be a better mom and wife! Trust me!
Stay Organized!-
This can seem impossible with three kids….seriously!
Get rid of old shit you don’t need! (excuse the language)
Kids have SO much crap that they don’t use and the more you keep, the more your house will be a disaster and will drive you bonkers!
Get rid of clothes they don’t wear, toys they don’t use, and it will help you have a clear head!
Here are some ideas to help you clean out your closets! 👇
Use Planners!-
This falls under staying organized as well!
I need to write things down constantly and use a lot of planners/printables to help me. There is SO much to remember between work and the kids that if I don’t write it all down, I’ll forget!
Having two kids is a lot to remember, but once you add more….forget it! You need to write it all down!
Here are some planners to help you organize your time!
Shopping Tips-
Finally, shopping tips. Once you have a third baby, you will notice ALL you do is grocery shop or shop for diapers and toilet paper, things like that!
If I can give a mom any advice, it would be two things, get the Target Red Card and get Amazon Prime!
I personally am not a shopper so these two have helped me tremendously. As far as groceries go, I haven’t decided which is best between Sams Club, BJs or what. I love our local farmer’s markets here so I usually go that route if I can. Once I figure out the best grocery shopping tips, I’ll update it here! If you have any, please let me know in the comments!
Check out Target’s Red Card and Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial
Get yourself a good baby carrier!!!!-
This is A MUST!!!
Honestly, I used a baby carrier constantly with just two kids but once a had a third I HAD to use it daily! There are just certain places you can’t take strollers.
Most importantly, there are places that you need to have both your hands free in order to hold your other two children’s hands!
I don’t know what I would’ve done without a carrier and luckily all 3 of my girls loved being in one! If you’re interested in a good baby carrier, you can read my post about the Ergo here.
Hopefully these questions and advice have helped you decide if you’re ready for a third baby! Another thing that helped me decide is if I went crazy when I saw a newborn! Don’t get me wrong, I still do after having three kids, so that love of babies never really goes away. But it’s different when you just know you’re done having kids, you’ll look at a baby and think they’re cute but know you’re spent, done, the thought of being pregnant again kinda makes you nauseous!
If you still look at those newborns and need to get near that baby to hold it, miss the pregnancy stages, and really want more kids, then you know you’re not done! If you’re kind of unsure, then hopefully these questions and tips helped you decide! Good luck and share other parents this post in case they’re also thinking of having a third baby!
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