How Toddlers are like little drunk people
I realize this isn’t one of my normal posts. Some of you might read this title and think what is she talking about?? What a terrible thing to say!
But hear me out here….
If you’ve ever been a bartender or worked in a restaurant that serves alcohol or is in a college setting, then you know where I’m coming from. Or even if you’ve had years of experience with alcohol and partying yourself and finally have little ones, then you know what I’m talking about!! 😜
Seriously, bartending and motherhood are so much alike! I honestly can’t believe that my years behind the bar was preparing me for motherhood!!
You see, toddlers and drunks are pretty much the same, they’re just shorter and can’t drive!!!
I started in the restaurant business as a teen and once I got to college I continued to work as a waitress or bartender all throughout college and even part time as an adult. It was the best money you could make and I learned so many experiences along the way! Met amazing people, some of the best friends of my life, including my husband! Once I got pregnant, I quit my full-time job, stayed home with my girls, and bartended part time for a little while. It was a great way to make extra cash without worrying about paying for daycare since the hours were at night.
After a while though….it got to me. I felt like I was dealing with drunks ALL day…and then ALL night!
Let me explain, here are the reasons why toddlers and drunks are pretty much the same people:
1.They hang on you
2.They pee and poop themselves and never seem to make it to the potty on time!
3.They steal your food
4.They hug you nonstop
5.They ask you for more to drink every 5 min and you’re constantly serving them food and water!
6.They slur their words, blurt out random things, and talk all kinds of nonsense!!
7.They throw their food and even eat with their hands, their manners are awful!
8.They spit up/throw up sometimes on you or sometimes on the table where they are sitting
9. They fall down often and stairs are almost impossible for them to conquer!
10.They can’t walk a straight line no matter how hard they try!
11. They make a mess wherever they go!
12. They don’t clean up after themselves!
13. They have THE shortest attention span ever!
14. You have to constantly repeat what you’re saying to them over and over and over again!
15. They like to take off their clothes and run around naked! ( Haven’t we all had at least one friend like this in college????)
16. They persistently tell you how much they love and adore you:)
See? It’s like the same type of person but one is much larger than the other!!
I actually thought it was easier bartending because I was getting paid to take care of these people! Also, once my shift was over, I could leave and someone else took care of them! Parenting is WAY harder!!!
However, at the end of the day (even though I don’t get paid) I’d much rather be with my little toddlers cleaning up their messes and getting all of their hugs. It’s way harder than any other job I’ve ever had but the love is so great and every second is worth it!!
Anyone else have little drunk toddlers at home too???
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